Winter Episode: I’d Walk a Mile for a Salem, Naturally Requisitionative?
The VW van spun free of the vortex, and softly landed back in the parking area in Woodstock where they originated from. As the lights from the concert area were more prevalent, being slightly darker from when they left, the 3-60’s Beatniks in Granny Boots peered out of the windshield through their circular rose shaded glasses. “Shhh!, everyone remain still as possible and do not make a sound.” whispered Sara remaining very still. Mary and Marsha, remembering the Timothy Geary pill rules, remained silent and motionless. “What? Where the hell are we? How did we get here?” yelled Patti frantically moving from window to window, going towards the windshield looking in amazement. Sara, Mary and Marsha remained still and quiet. “What is wrong with you twits? Answer me!” demanded Patti shaking Sara’s shoulder. Suddenly, the windows started to fisheye, convexing and concaving, as the VW van started to lift off the ground, slowly starting it’s spin, quickly accelerating. “Your the twit Patti! I told you to shut up and remain still. Now were off again to an unknown origin. Bitch!” said Sara pushing Patti back to her buttocks. Patti grabbed behind herself instinctively only to grab Sara’s replica enhanced breast. “Ewe! Not again!” said Patti as she quickly let go of Sara’s replica’s enhanced bosom. By this time the VW van’s spin was at light speed, shooting off back into the ozone of the darkened sky only to leave a light beamed trace of itself that quickly disappeared. “Woah, twice in ten minutes! Deja vu man, cool. Great stuff man!” said the young beatnik with the Beatle’s styled hair do and goatee as he puffed on another large doobie, watching the VW van disappear into the stars.
As the vortex started to spin down and the speed receded, the VW van plunged down to an area where there was quite a bit of foliage and trees. They all looked out the windows and were confused. “Well, it appears we never went back to FBI land, thank God.” said Sara sitting in the driver seat. “Where are we now? I hope we are back where I can go home.!” said Patti looking about. Marsha snickered as she looked into the rear view mirror applying more makeup, admiring herself. “Just so you know Patti, when we end back to the place of origin, we all have to remain still and quiet for 10 minutes, otherwise we will travel back into time to who knows where, which is where we are at the moment. We should take the pills again and go home, then throw these things away.” said Sara as she started to grab the pill bottle out of her bra. “Wait Sara, I have to pee. Please, then we can go.” said Mary fidgety and crossing her legs. “Can’t you wait another minute Mary?” asked Sara, leaving the pill bottle in her bra. “Not unless you want me to pee on your velvet covered seat!” said Mary opening the door to get out. “Wait, what about me? Let us at least look around to see if this is where I came from.” said Patti anxiously. “It is not Patti. We are in another time zone tornado destination thingy, err, I think.” said Marsha puckering her lips in the mirror. “Patti, we are God knows where. So unless you want to take a chance and get stuck here, go ahead. We are heading back. Then I will give you a pill from there to go back to your demented future, Miss Cajun Universe Queen.” said Sara waiting for Mary to come back into the VW van. “Let us just drive around. Start this thing up and we can assess where we are.” said Patti kneeling close to the driver seat. “We are surrounded by bush genius. Perhaps we can chew a path through the trees so we can drive on out!” said Sara shaking her head. “Where is Mary. How long does it take to go pee? Mary!” yelled Sara towards the open passenger door. “Hey guys. Come out and look at the beautiful scenery.” and the river.” said Mary from a short distance away. “Get back in here Mary, now!” commanded Sara getting impatient. “Do you hear that? Sounds like strange chanting.” said Mary getting closer to the VW van. “Yeah, it is most likely cannibals whom got a whiff of your urine and now want to throw you into their cooking pot, get in here now!” commanded Sara again. Mary now scared came running back and jumped into the VW van and closed the door. “I am out of here.” said Patti opening the rear door, jumping out and closing it again. “Good! see you soon as the main entrée on the local cannibal bon fire rotisserie.” said Sara reaching for the pills again. “We should look for her Sara. It is our fault she came with us.” said Mary opening her door again. “What?” exclaimed Sara as she left the pills back in her bra again watching the passenger door slam shut. “So safe and invisible are those pills sunken in there!” snickered Marsha playing with her face in the mirror. “Come on Marsha, let’s go and find them so we can get out of here.” ordered Sara opening her driver door. “What? out there? In the boonies? I don’t think so Sara. I will wait in here.” said Marsha placing her makeup back into her purse. “Ok, but if we do not come back, you may be here for a long time, seeing I have the pills.” said Sara as she got out of the VW van, closing the door. Marsha sat there for a moment, thought, then got out of the van through the passenger door. “Wait Sara!” yelled Marsha slamming the passenger door.
“Over here behind the van. Lets go!” said Sara leading Marsha out of the bush towards what looked like a wagon trail where Mary was holding on to Patti. “Let me go. I need to get home now!” said Patti shaking loose from Mary’s grip. “Wait Patti. We should all stick together. I mean by now, I am sure you can absorb the fact that we have travelled through time. This is most likely not 2017. I would also venture to say it is not even 1969.” said Sara observing a small painted sign on the wagon trail. “Time travel? Somehow you slipped me one of those acid pills and we are all hallucinating. And some how we ended up in the bush being that you were escaping.” said Patti confused. “Then how my Cajun scholar did we end up in Massachusetts, one mile from Salem on an old wagon trail. I believe the infrastructure has most likely improved since then, this close to town. Seen enough? May be we are close to Salem, Oregon?” said Sara snickering with her arms folded. Patti looked at the small sign that read, “Salem: 1 mile” and scratched her head. “Let us at least go into town and make sure Sara. I am hungry.” complained Mary as she picked a blade a grass and chewed on the end. “Figures my moo-stress. We can be back in our own time in minutes! Lets go and I will buy you a dog with all the fixings.” said Sara tantalizing Mary. “Come on Sara! You chicken? Lets go into town and find out.” said Patti challenging Sara. “Ok, lets go. Id walk a mile to prove you wrong.” said Sara leading the way.
Too be continued: Any witch way but noose…
“Tex” oNid ittEnEbEd (sHow nO mErcY)
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