Category Archives: BrainSalad

Canadian Election, Jeez…

The Liberals, led by Justin Trudeau win big in Canada, winning seats in every province, stealing both Conservative and New Democrat seats (mostly New Democrat) winning back some key seats in Ontario. What does this mean to Canadians? Who cares. Really. Jack Layton would of been spinning in his grave, how his legacy NDP victory, gaining historic amounts of seats (98 seats) in 2011, was totally mismanaged and squandered by the current party leadership.

Because they did not have a majority, they did not get anything substantial accomplished, mostly because they did not tag team with the Liberals to snip the strings on Harpo’s (Harper) harp. Some would say it was because Jack Layton died shortly thereafter his epic victory. I say, duh ya! The fact that the NDP ended up with 44 seats makes me wonder WTF they did to the party. I liked Jack Layton because he was one dangerous S.O.B..

I voted NDP again, because, well, Liberal color is red, Conservative color is blue (Navy Blue, I think), the Green party color is, well, green, and the NDP color is Orange. I decided on the fact that red, blue and green are not my lucky colors, orange being neutral. Pathetic you may say. But, I do not care because it is all a pile of dung anyway.

Hey, what do you expect? I once voted for the Doug Henning (Magician) Natural Law Party (1992). I wanted to see him make the “deficit disappear, now!”. That by the way was part of his campaign slogan. The party proposed yogic flying as a solution to the problems of the nation. Cool eh?

What even more amazing is the fact that the Conservatives still managed to keep 99 seats after totally hosing Canada for the last two terms. Harpo (Harper) must be a master bard, how he “harped” his way from losing more seats, and retaining a respectable amount. In fact, if it was not for the Atlantic side of the vote, we may of been listening to Harpo’s harp for another four years. Harpo is stepping down, but the Conservatives are nuts, they should keep his harp.

One thing I noticed about the average elected (male) Liberal is that they look like old greasers from the 1950’s or at the very least, beatniks from the late 1950’s and early to mid 60’s . Why is that? Justin Trudeau seems to resemble Frankie Avalon. If you look at his wife, she has a strong resemblance of Annette Funicello, just die her hair black and give her B52 hair do, and voila. Party to their victory, Frankie (Justin) and Annette (Sophie) on the beach, the official 8th beach party movie. What on earth does this mean? I guess it means that because any Canadian beach will be much too cold this time of year, they will have to shoot the victory party in the studio set and air it on the next Royal Canadian Air Farce episode, or shoot it on a beach in California or Florida which may mean increasing CBC’s government funding.

So, that could also mean, deep down, the majority of Canada want to be beach bums in California, or more appropriately, Florida where a lot of retired Canadians already spend the winter. This also means that the Conservatives and the NDP will have play the role of the black leathered beach biker goons with black leather hats always trying to spoil Frankie’s (Justin) and Annette’s (Sophie) beach parties. And, Elizabeth May (Green Party) can play the lonely beach geek always trying to get laid, scaring off all the beach boys and goons. Wicked. I am getting a rush just thinking about it.

Now that I have got your attention, or totally pissed you off, what advice do I have for the average Canadian with Justin at the helm? Hold on! It is going to one hell of a ride! Or at least one awesome beach “party”.

“Tex” oNid ittEnEbEd (sHow nO mErcY)

Originally Published on October 20, 2015

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